A love letter

For Robin, on our fourth anniversary;

I never believed in love at first sight.  When I was growing up, fairy tales and myths were just that – they were stories I couldn’t relate to, images that seemed pretty on paper but never really made sense when I applied them to my life.  It seemed too important, a grand, all-encompassing love like that.  Like Icarus, I thought that daring to believe in something that big would only end in disappointment. The love I saw demonstrated was quieter, less dramatic.  You dated around, you found someone that tolerated you, you settled.

I was kind of a weird kid.  Beyond the fact that I was gay in a conservative household, I read instead of having friends, I imagined Middle Earth and spaceships.  And I always assumed that if I wound up with someone, I’d have to shutter off those parts of myself.  The world around me said that love meant putting only the best parts of you forward.  It meant arguments and misunderstandings, it meant making yourself smaller so that you’d fit.

Four years ago, I got on a plane to go to Australia.  I wanted to do something big, something daring.  There was a friend I had from an online writing site that promised to meet me at the airport, to make sure I got to my hostel in one piece.  We made tentative plans to have lunch, maybe, to spend a day in sightseeing.  I assumed that this was my solo adventure, and that if we hit it off, maybe that online friendship would deepen.  The most I expected out of the trip was a new perspective, was to have a few new stories to tell.  To jump-start my writing.

After twenty hours of travel, I stepped out of the airport into the Melbourne autumn and I saw Robin.

And I fell in love.

Love, I’ve discovered, doesn’t come with a rush and a bang.  Not always.  It can be quiet, it can creep up behind you and spin you around and change everything.  Four years ago, I was resigned to being alone.  Four years ago, I assumed that sharing my life with someone meant that I would become smaller.  That I would be less.

Four years ago, I met the love of my life.  My only love.  And from the moment I saw Robin, I knew.  With that quiet, steady certainty that refused to let me go, that overcame the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that lay in our way, I knew. 

Robin doesn’t make me small.  I don’t collapse myself to fit.  In everything, in the good parts of me I hold out with hopeful awe, in the bad parts of me I strive to clean up, Robin makes me better.  I am more because I got off that plane, because I looked up and saw love.

I am going to get married, someday.  I am going to stand there with my best friend, with my heart, with my every breath, and I am going to say words that mean forever and family and home.  And four years will become forty, will become the rest of my life, and all the pieces of me I never believed would fit have finally found their match.

I never used to believe in love at first sight.  Until I put on wings, until I soared next to the sun, until I felt the warmth at my back and I discovered that it doesn’t always burn.  Sometimes it makes us bigger.  It makes us more.

My life is a love story, because of Robin.  And all I want is one more chapter, one more sentence, one more word.

My darling, I love you.  Forever, for always, I love you.

My heart.  My Robin.  My beautiful friend.

I love you.

-Alex

Bloodlines, and More WIPs

Hello everyone! Robin here.

It's been a bit over a month since Blood in the Sand was released, and we've been graced with a really good reception to it. We're honestly touched at how much people like it, so to all our readers, thank you! We write for people like you.

As we've said before, writing Blood in the Sand, our second published novel, was the biggest learning experience that we've had so far. Blood Howl was a simple story, with an isolated plot and only two main characters--when we decided to pull back the curtain a little for Blood in the Sand, things got much more complicated.

Dreamspinner Press eBook | Dreamspinner Press Paperback | Amazon Kindle Edition | Amazon Paperback

And even then, what we saw in Blood in the Sand is still very much the tip of the iceberg. We introduced how vampires work, but only in a very isolated context. We hinted that there's more to this world, much more. There's werewolves and wolves and half-bloods of every different shade.

So now, we're pleased to tell everyone that we've started work on Bloodlines, the third book in the series. We rejoin Jed and Redford a few months after the events in Cairo, only to throw them yet again into another conflict. Was Filtiarn representive of all wolves act? Do half-bloods have a community of their own? With all of these different supernatural groups, is there conflict? Those are things that we're going to start answering.

(But we're not going to give too much away just yet!)

Because we're busy little bees, Alex and I have also started work on our own, solo novels. Hey, we have spare time when our schedules don't match up, why not use it, right?

Since I get partner rights (which is awesome, I get to read things before they hit the shelves, hell yeah!), I'm damn excited for Alex to finish work on what's been titled After The End. It's the story of Quinn, a comic artist who is dealing the aftermath of losing the man he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with. It's a story about the aftermath of loss, dealing with grief, learning how to move on - and how to deal with it when a new person comes into your life, one that very quickly grows close.

Mine is tentatively titled The Royal Road ("Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious."--Freud). Weston is a knight that slays dragons, a junior detective in a crime thriller, a swooning lover that speaks impeccable French. But only in his dreams. In real life, he designs mascot costumes and tries to write. Badly. Sidney is a misunderstood villian, a world famous mystery solver, and an equally world famous romantic lover. But only in Weston's dreams. In reality, Sidney is a productivity consultant at Weston's business, falling prey to rumors that he is a soulless leech who just wants to see their business fall. It's a story about impossible expectations, versus rumors, versus first impressions, versus reality.

And that's all for today! We'll continue to keep everybody updated as we keep writing.

Guess What Comes Out Tomorrow!

Blood in the Sand comes out tomorrow!

We're both incredibly excited, needless to say. The book was a labor of love--we love these characters, we love this world, and we love sharing it with all of you. 

So here's the last excerpt. It features Jed being an old cat lady, which is always one of our favorite things to write.

       “Jed.” Redford’s voice was slightly muffled, probably because he’d buried his face under the pillows. He was just a lump under the blankets, grunting whenever Jed elbowed him back awake. “Tell me why we’re up at two in the morning again?”
        Jed covered the phone receiver with one hand. “Because,” he explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “the time difference means it’s eight in the morning back home.”
        Back to the phone, he raised his voice. “No, you are a sack of shit, and if you don’t fucking put the phone where I want it, I will personally— Yeah, you better run for your manager, you fucking pussysnatch.”
        “Okay.” Redford was apparently unfazed by Jed’s outburst. He’d rolled over just enough to peer out at Jed, eyes heavy with sleep. “But why does it have to be eight in the morning? ’Cause it’ll still be daytime back home if we did this at a normal hour.”
        Turning his attention back to Redford, Jed smirked at him, expression softening, running his hand through Redford’s hair. “Yeah, but you know how she gets in the morning. ’Sides, I was going to do this yesterday, but I went out. And my contacts are very good at what they do, but I don’t think this would have helped my credibility any.”
        There was a new voice over the phone, and Jed immediately started shouting. “Oh my God, whose cock do I have to fucking deep-throat over there to get one fucking simple thing done, you fucking sack of fuck-faced—” In an instant, Jed’s tone turned from murderous to crooning, and his whole face lit up. “Hi, baby. Who is being just the best kitty in the world? Hmm? How’s my Knievel?”
        There was a loud, disgruntled meow, and Jed could hear the rattling of the cage door. Probably their cat had just taken a swipe at the phone. “I know,” he apologized, raising his voice to be heard over the meowing. “But it wasn’t my idea to put you in a mean old animal hotel. That would be your other daddy. He is a very bad man.”
        Redford promptly thumped Jed on the leg, narrowing his eyes up at him from his cocoon of blankets. “Am not,” he mumbled.
        “Yes he is,” Jed continued, voice a soothing singsong tone. “But don’t worry, baby kitty, I will punish him. Now you be good, and I will be home to save you very soon. I just have to kill one little stupid man, and then we will all go fishing. Who likes fishes?” Delighted when he heard the loud carburetor purr and the distinctive sound of Knievel head butting the cage, he grinned. “That’s right! You do! We will go get lots and lots of fishes.”
        The phone was thrust at Redford. “Say hello,” Jed demanded.

For those of you who have already answered the previous five competition questions, thank you! We've got your answers, so you don't need to post them again. For those who are just joining us now, we're going to list all six questions so that you don't have to go post hunting to find them. We've put comments in a moderated queue so that only we can see them.

1. In Blood Howl, what was the one thing that could kill a werewolf like Filtiarn?

2. Jed and Redford met one of Jed's ex-clients at the gun show; what was his name?

3. What do Jed and Redford get to eat after they play basketball?

4. What is one of Jed's nicknames for Victor? (There's multiple correct answers for this one, Jed loves his nicknames.)

5. What are Jed's very last words in the book?

And now for the sixth, and last:

6. Whose house is Redford living in at the start of the book?

Two Days To Go!

We're starting to get excited, needless to say. We loved writing this book, and we really hope that everybody enjoys reading it, too.

We have a second small excerpt for today - and coming up tomorrow is a much larger one. Stay tuned, viewers!

“Done. We’re in. My partner”—here he nudged Redford a little, playfully—“will be sending you over our budget requirements.”

“No fucking jet skis, Journey,” David grumbled, but he looked relieved.

Jed flashed a shit-eating grin, standing and hooking his arm around Redford’s waist. “Don’t call me Journey, you cocksucker.”

And for today's question:

5. What are Jed's very last words in the book?

Four + Three

Two excerpts and two questions today! I'd say it's because we're generous, but actually it's just because we were both unfortunately too busy yesterday to get on our laptops. Still, we're happy to bring you a double feature today.

We'll begin with our fifth and last quote, shall we?

"So while David attempts to use his brain for the first time in his life, we, Red, are gonna ride some goddamn camels."

- Jed

And a paragraph excerpt!

“Well, holy shit.” Jed grinned at him, not very nicely. “We actually agree on something. Sound the fucking trumpets.” Clambering out, he tossed Victor the keys. “Keep her runnin’, princess. And try not to impale yourself on the driveshaft. I know you’ve never seen anything that big before, but remember, she’s not purring for you.”

- Yet more Jed, to Victor

Aaand our two questions for the day.

3. What do Jed and Redford get to eat after they play basketball?


4. What is one of Jed's nicknames for Victor? (There's multiple correct answers for this one, Jed loves his nicknames.)

Fiiiive Golden Riiings

Time for today's quote and question!

“Jed. I know you’re horny, and I know you’re possibly entertaining thoughts of me in nothing but a holster doing extremely kinky things. We can do that later. Right now there are lives on the line.”

- Redford Reed

And our second question:

2. Jed and Redford met one of Jed's ex-clients at the gun show; what was his name?

Six Days To Go

Six days until the release of Blood in the Sand!

Today we're starting the countdown competition for a free eBook of Blood in the Sand. What we're going to be doing is putting up six questions relating to Blood Howl over the next six days, and if you get at least three of them right, you'll have a chance to win the eBook!

So, without further ado, here's today's quote:

"I'll have you know that I can play a very distracting crossword session."

- Victor Rathbone

And today's competition question:

1. In Blood Howl, what was the one thing that could kill a werewolf like Filtiarn?


To give your answer, you can comment here, or email it to us at saxon.kidwell@gmail.com. Comments here won't appear on the page but we will see them - we're putting comments into a moderation queue so that the answers aren't given away in fellow comments!

Bubble, Bubble...

Here we are, 7 days until the release of Blood in the Sand.  And once again, we're bringing you one of our favorite one liners from the book.

And keep your eye on the blog.  Tomorrow, along with the teasers from the book, we're also going to be starting a giveaway contest for your very own e-copy of Blood in the Sand!


For now, though, we have number two of our Five Fabulous One Liners:

"We've been over this.  You're not my type.  I like my men to wash now and again."

- David to Jed Walker

Captain Yo-Ho-Hobag's Pleasure Palace

It's happening! We're in the throes of a countdown to the release date of Blood in the Sand, second in the Sanguis Noctis series (and, of course, sequel to Blood Howl, our debut novel).

 In celebration of the impending release, we decided to give little teasers of the book in the form of five of our favorite one liners. There may also be an excerpt that we've been dying to share and a few tastes of the character interactions to come.  And yes, oh yes, there will be a giveaway.  You know how much we adore a good giveaway.


But today, it's number five of our Five Fabulous One Liners:

"We’re going shopping on David’s dime. What kind of gun would go best with Bermuda shorts?" 

                          --Jed 'Journey' Walker

Blood in the Sand: Sanguis Noctis II - Coming 1st June 2012!

Blood in the Sand Book Two of Sanguis Noctis
When David, an old contact and sometimes friend, hires Jed Walker to look into a series of seemingly unrelated disappearances in Cairo, Jed jumps at the chance to show his partner, Redford Reed, more of the world he’s been missing. David’s boyfriend, supernatural expert and resident stuffy professor Victor Rathbone, joins them in their journey to Egypt, which holds many more dangers and mysteries than Jed ever expected. Hidden natures resurface, relationships collide, and instincts are stretched to their breaking point. What seems to be a simple case turns out to be anything but.

David may have called for help, but he has his own suspicions about who’s behind the kidnappings—suspicions that, along with clashing personalities, make getting to the bottom of the mystery difficult. While Jed and Redford grow more intimate and trusting with each new obstacle in their path, David and Victor struggle not to lose their trust in each other in the face of their differences. As the four close in on the kidnappers, David is forced to face the one thing more dangerous than the mastermind behind the disappearances: himself.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Thank you so much to everyone who participated in Hop Against Homophobia.  It was a fantastic event with tons of great posts by some amazing people.  We're so happy to announce a winner from the great folks who stopped by our little old blog.  Our random number picker has been whirring and smoking and has spat out the name of the chosen commentator.

Drumroll please!

...

KimberlyFDR!  Come on down!  We're sending you our Super Special Blood Howl prize pack, just in time for Blood in the Sand's release on June 1st.  Check your email for the deets.

Again, we so appreciate being able to take part in this.  The discussion of homophobia can be painful at times, uncomfortable, frustrating, infuriating, and sometimes it seems hopeless.  But it is the only way we can move forward.  Every conversation we have, every time we're able to come together and, with respect and love, talk and share and empathize, that's how we're most human.  That's how we'll be able to become something so much better.

-Alex & Robin

Joy Comes With the Morning

It's Hop against Homophobia time!  This is such an amazing idea and Robin and I feel so lucky to have a chance to bring a focus to this issue.  Obviously, we both feel so strongly about the idea of combating homophobia with information, knowledge, and patient education, so we think the idea of getting several hundred of us together to talk about it is incredible.

Here's how we thought we'd do things.  I decided the only way we could really talk about homophobia and what that means to us now is to share my personal story.  As I told Robin the other day, it's pretty much the most generic 'Gay Person in the Midwest' story in the world, but I think sometimes, sharing something like that is the most important thing you can do.  Not because it's extraordinary - nothing about my life has really been that - but because it's not.  Because there are so many people, I know, who have grown up like I have, who have faced the same things I did.  I wish I'd known that, when I was younger.  Maybe this will be our own little Oprah moment, a way to all sit on the couch and have a drink and talk.

Of course, we also want to give some stuff away.  Everything's better with a give away!  Leave us your thoughts in the comments below, share your own experiences, ask questions, just say hi.  Make sure to include some way to get a hold of you, and you are entered to win this awesome prize pack.

Included are:  A signed paperback of Blood Howl (just in time to read before the sequel, Blood in the Sand, gets a release date announced), your very own whistle necklace (so you'll never get lost), and a dog tag and cling sticker from one of my favorite non-profit groups, the Human Rights Campaign.  (The profits from buying those, just like everything else from the HRC store, goes straight back to the organization.)

We're so incredibly grateful to the organizers of the Hop against Homophobia.  This is a fantastic idea, and we look forward to seeing what other members of the m/m fiction community have to say.  Writing gay fiction, for Robin and I, is one of the most rewarding experiences we could hope to have.  Not only do we get to do what we've always wanted to do - write - but we get to develop characters we believe in and stories we love.  Really, we have it pretty damn good.

Celebrating Dreamspinner Press

So, we think Dreamspinner Press is pretty awesome. They consistently put out amazing material, they feature huge amounts of incredible authors, and they are one of the best Gay Romance publishers out there.

In honor of recognizing the fact that Dreamspinner Press is, as aforementioned, awesome, Sue Brown is going to be promoting Dreamspinner works on her blog to support them and the authors. We, of course, signed up.

But in lieu of offering a free book to go along with it, we've decided to do something else:

We're pledging a $25 donation to The Point Foundation, in honor of Dreamspinner Press.

The Point Foundation is a national LGBT scholarship fund organization that provides mentoring, financial support and leadership training to students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. It has recently celebrated its 10 year anniversary, and it's seen rapid growth due to good financial decisions by its organizers.

We think that organizations like this are critical in a world where LGBT students can still be marginalized. Students - teens and young adults - already have enough stress and craziness in their lives, they shouldn't have to deal with bigotry on top of all of that.

And, well, their website says it more eloquently than I can:

Applicants to Point Foundation and subsequent scholars, turn to Point Foundation because their families are either unable or unwilling to support them and their goals for higher education. Each student has a compelling and inspiring story of overcoming incredible obstacles and hardships. Many have been cruelly rejected by their families, forced to leave home, and cut off from all financial support. Yet Point Scholars are excelling at our nation's most prestigious and demanding universities and colleges, while also leading in a variety of extracurricular and community service activities.

We think that The Point Foundation is doing amazing things, hence our donation.

Sue Brown has pledged to match our $25!

If anybody else wants to do the same, comment here or PM us on Facebook. We're going to list the names of donors here in this blogpost, and we're also going to tell Facebook about how awesome you are for supporting this. But your donation doesn't have to be $25 - it can be $1, it can be $5, it can be however much you want to give. Every single dollar really does help.

Donations of $25 or over mean that you have the option of making your donation in honor of whomever you wish. So let's celebrate Dreamspinner Press. Let's celebrate the fact that we can publish and read quality gay fiction. Let's celebrate the fact that we can reach out and giving a helping hand to people that need it.

Hop Against Homophobia

Since starting this venture into the writing world, Robin and I have found out a couple of different things.  Writing action sequences while giggling over dirty jokes is harder than one might think, wine and coffee can actually sustain you through any writer's block, chocolate might actually be essential for the editing process, and there are a whole lot of people out there who are passionate about the same things we are.

As a gay couple, as writers, hell, as human beings, Robin and I feel it's our responsibility to take any platform we're given and use it to raise awareness and understanding for causes that are closest to our hearts.  Which is why we're so excited about Hop Against Homophobia.

May 17th - 20th, starting on the International Day Against Homophobia, we're going to be participating in a massive, M/M themed blog hop.  There's over 140 m/m authors, publishers, and reviewers signed up so far and I'm sure the list will just keep growing.

There'll be giveaways galore, which we all love, but most importantly there'll be some awesome awareness and discussion about the face of the m/m community.  The best response to hatred, to ignorance, is information and openness.  I sincerely hope that everyone who loves this genre, who feels passionately about this cause, will participate.

Also, free stuff!  Can't go wrong with that.

More details to come.

Flasher Fiction Friday!

Who says I can't do new things?  As a fun way to stretch my writing muscles, so to speak, I decided to take part in Flasher Fiction Friday with a group of talented authors.  The goal?  Take one picture and interpret it any way we like.  The catch?  100 words.  No more, no less.

Hopefully my humble first offering will do.

-Alex